Valentimes Up.

Why the hell would anyone want to constrain their zipper-bulging love and adoration to one measly day a year? Not me. I'm out.

Over The Fence or Through The Gate?

I'm the last person who should be writing this. In fact, I'm even the wrong biological sex. But let me tell you about something important: the true function of men's underwear.

Steamy Scientology Secrets

A zany look at the world of scientology and how it led to Tom Cruise being matched with Katie Holmes--then why it all went to shit.

Kenny. The Poo Man.

Kenny is a poo man. All day long he cleans up other people's shit after installing portable toilets throughout the arid lands of Australia.

How I Lost And Found My Mojo. Hint: Vodka

I'm sipping on a quadruple vodka, courtesy of Travis Gertz. If that doesn't spell trouble, it certainly spells a night of entertainment. Don't worry, it's on me (or it might be later). Pending purge.

How To Rob A Sunglass Hut

The entire process should take you no longer than 2:37. If it's like a half hour, you're not doing it right. Stick to ripping off penny candies at the 7/11. Step 1: Walk into a Sunglass Hat wearing jeans that…

Old St. Prick: The Nasty Truth About Santa Claus

You're over Christmas--I know that. It's been at least two solid weeks of Merry Christmas this and Happy Effing Holiday that. If you hear any more carols blaring out of Old Navy or Baby Gap you'll fart candy-cane glitter and…

Hair: The Bald Truth

I got my first brazilian today. And lest you think that’s too much information, I have a point to make with all of this. Humans are weird about hair. I know I’ve commented on this before, but as I lay…

The Chosen

Travis and Wil and Andy made a movie in 24 hours. And they did real well at their screening, too. Best Writing Best Wardrobe Best Male Actor 2nd place: Audience Award This year the theme for the team was Identity…

Love is a Battlefield.

You know that age old Corinthians verse, “Love is patient, love is kind…” (Corinthians 13:4)? You know the one. Your cousin had the pastor deliver it at her wedding. It’s total bullshit. And the reason isn’t because I’m jaded and…

Dogs Are Driving in NZ

You thought Chops was a smart dog, but did you know he could learn to drive in seven weeks?

Wicked Fireworks PSA From the 90s

If you can withstand the seven minutes this PSA takes to get its point across about fireworks safety, you're in for a real treat.

Decline of The Times

I don't really like Gawker. And I don't really like the New York Times. What happens when the Times writes an article about something that Gawker hates? Hilarity. And a mass orgy of hating.

Republicans, Get In My Vagina!

Vaginas are icky and scary, which is why old white men in the government should regulate what goes on in there. Everything else is fair game. After all, corporations may be people, but they certainly don’t have vaginas. Also, look…

Grand Old Party

This is the most impressive representation of Republican polls that I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Matthew Epler, the creator of this probing visualization, explains: In an age of information, we rely on hard facts. Each of the shapes you…

Kids: Where Do You Go When You Die?

Credit to Laughing Squid for this hilarious video post about kids finding out the bad news about death. Yep, your foot does hurt when you kick the bucket.

Couple Blogging is Lame

This one hits square in the sucker. Of course we’re a couple; of course we blog; of course we’re lame. All you have to do is check out an early post written while we were on the road to realize…

Backwards Alberta

I know we high-tailed it out of Alberta over seven months ago, but for some reason, we still care about its provincial politics. Call us suckers for a story. Well friends, you might be aware that there is a provincial…

Animal Addiction

When animals get drunk of the fermenting Marula fruit in the African savanna, they get clumsy, amorous, and uncoordinated just like humans. They also suffer from hangovers and a disturbing desire to do stupid shit like wearing mini skirts and…

Evolution Explains Why We Still Have Butt Hair | Motherboard

“Hello Derek. Bev here. First time, long time. I’m 99.999999999999999999999999% sold on evolution, but then I think about how we still grow hair in our ass crack. The fuck’s up with that? I’ma hang up and listen now. Thanks!” Good…

George Carlin - Teach your children to question

George Carlin - Teach your children to question (via afarkas2222) Teach your children to question everything. “Kids have to be warned that there’s bullshit coming down the road.” RIP George!