Where’s Walter

Where’s Walter? No, Seriously.

Our journey is complete. Today, on this ordinary Monday of Mondays… we sold our Walter. Our beloved Walter, our beacon of freedom and light. Walter, our dear and dearly loved Winnebago of over 12 000 miles. In about a week, you’ll…

Sock to the Gut

Put Walter on an RV lot today. Sounds like we’re gonna take a major sales hit due to the plummeting American dollar. Time to look into the existence of a trust fund from old uncle Buffet —Not Jimmy B. Still,…

Part One: Undressing Austin

Right after a million bats pelted us, we hit the Congress bridge to watch traffic. This city is not a boot. I’ma spread this into two posts to give Austin the detailed review it really deserves. It seems fitting to…

Phase II Begineth

We’ve decided that with the dear departing of our steadfast Walter (he’s sitting outside my mom’s quonset till we can sell his ass), it is no longer appropriate for us to be calling this blog, Where’s Walter?. So we did…

The Memory Freeway

Well, our Walter days have sadly come to an end. And all we have to show for it? 1. About two tons worth of steel and rubber sitting out at my mom’s farm for the winter. We haven’t sold him…

Great Fail, MT

This is the last written post of our trip. And thank you for making me aware that we’ve been home for almost a month now. Whatever. It is written. In a delirious bid to get back in time for my…

Rushmore. Leave Soon.

Eery shot of Mount Rushmore Lighting Up at Night We swivelled like a dust vacuum through quite a few places during those last weeks of Walter. Stopped to see Chicago for an afternoon, Sioux Falls, Mount Rushmore, Bozeman, Billings, and…

Warm-Up to Finale

You thought we were done? Sheesh, we go quiet for a week to ‘domesticate’ and suddenly people think we’re all done with adventure and the like. Absolutely not. And if you ever call it ‘domesticating’ again, we’ll beat you. We’ve…

Indy Inspires: Calgary Awaits

Day 232 Writing this after three hours of driving today, three yesterday, six hours the day before, six before that, four a lifetime ago. The brain has a bit of tunnel vision. Apologies. A little over a week ago, Torrey…

Four More Days

Day 230 Four days from home —15 hours of driving in the last two and a half days. I saw the blue Rocky Mountains rise from the hills of Wyoming today, and for the first time, the reality that this…

Ann Arbour

Day 226 We owe the beauty of our afternoon in Ann Arbor, Michigan all to Ben Turner. Yes, Ben who needs no introduction, save for this beautiful moment at SXSW. He’s the one swapping a shot of liquor with another…

Second Best London. Maybe

Day 226 London Ontario. It has its umm, —charm. But let’s not talk about the city. Let’s talk people. Awesome ones. We know awesome people residing in London. Hello Mathew and Jen, and hello little Ferris and (toothsome) Pearl. We…

Niagara Balls

Niagara is a commercial whore. She started out as a piece of pristine nature. An overwhelming testament to the raw power of water and rock and the distance between basin and ledge. But lo and behold, in the 1800s European…

Home Run

Day 226 Just reporting for your glorious interest… Only 9 more days of this wonderful, mind altering trip. Who needs run-of-the-mill uppers when you can just sell your house, buy and RV and travel the damn country? Side effects may…

Toronto: New York of the North?

Day 226 We’ve both been to Toronto before, but decided to try and approach it like we’ve approached nearly every other city on this journey. Like a couple of noobs acting like spies. Here’s the rundown: Day One Our first…

Parliamentary Comparisons

Having spent 98.9% of our adult lives growing up and living in the True North, we gnawed eagerly on the competition that good ole’ Ottawa spit out once we arrived. We couldn’t wait to size up Ottawa against the older,…

Border Penetration

Day 220 We did it! Travis explains how to cross the border in style. Rachel agrees. Border Penetration (by Travis Gertz)

Popsicle Sticks

Day 219 Hey Meg, Remember when we used to do this in the cold gutters of Calgary, just as the ice melted? Well, we tried it in Florida. Not the same. Miss you and love you. xox Rach & Trav…

The Home Stretch

Day 218 Although we’ve haven’t yet related potent details about our stays in Ottawa, Toronto, and Niagara, I have to intercept. This is the home stretch, folks. We’ve been on the road for over seven months and are now a…

Tongue Tied

~Love stuck to a fence in front of Montreal Expo ‘67 Day 216 You can not sum up Montreal. It is above ground and underground. It is French and it is English. It is poutine and it is King crab.…

To Noble Ottawatians

Day 212 An exuberant thank you goes out to our family friends and fellow former-Edmontonians, Wendy and Chris. You certainly topped our tour expectations this week. What with the gardens and waterfalls and cobblestones —and let’s not forget that delicious…

What the French Call, “Québec City”

Day 209 I’m a bit behind on the posties, I am. But if you think you’re going to get an apology for that, forget it! We’ve been too busy freezing off our tooshes and enjoying the sites and sounds of…

Lobster Proper

Day 206 I know you’ve eaten lobster tail. Everyone earns a right of passage by munching on the rubbery tail of this archaic animal at some point or another. But how many of you braves have voraciously attacked the fresh…

How To Live Like A Spy

Count how many spies you know. We’re talkin’ first name basis, comes over for beers on Friday nights and has a totally hot girlfriend named Debra. Zero? Yeah, thought so.

These Falls Are Grand

Day 204 A little out of sequence. But here you have it. Waterfalls, man. Waterfalls. These Falls Are Grand (by Travis Gertz)

Getting the Halifax Straight.

Day 202 I had no idea that Halifax was such a cool city. My only frame of reference was from watching Street Cents while growing up. The only thing I knew was that it was small, cloudy, and filled with…

Big Mussels in Amherst NS

Day 199 Oh my Gawwwwd! Seems we have family in Amherst, Nova Scotia. Not the blood tie kind, but we certainly will be having the Smiths over for some mussels and some fine Nova Scotian beer when we have a…

Jump in the Carrr, Maritimes

Day 196 We’ve spent the last week moseying through the beautiful Maritimes: New Brunswick, PEI, and soon to Nova Scotia. Bad weather has broken a bit of our spirit. So, we’re toying with the idea of a do-over for the…

Canada Crossing

Day 195 It’s been almost a week in Canada. We were thinking there’d be a whole falootin’ cavity search, Who-is-your-daddy-and-what-does-he-do 20-Question game at the border, but we can’t offer to spare you the drama. Know why? There was none. We…

A Reflection. Pt 2: What we’ve learned.

Day 192 The other day I posted the raw stats of this glorious trip so far. Here are some of the things we actually learned. The finer points, if you will: The RV life is a secluded one. We thought…

A Reflection. Pt 1: By the Numbers

Two days ago we hit a major milestone on this trip. We completed a full six months touring the amazing US of A. Here is the trip by the numbers. Maybe when we’re done I can make some sort of…

Salem Girls Are A Whole Lotta Trouble

Day 190 When I was little, I used to have terrible nightmares about a witch. Not a typical green faced, slovenly looking thing, but one with a bald bony skull and long gnarled fingers. In this dream I had (often…

Weekend at Berni’s

Day 189 Just want to make a huge shout out to Mr. Kevin Berni, his lovely wife, Becca… and the crazy animals they live with. We’ll always have Lily’s poo burps, beers at Dharma Buns, Vic’s Waffles, and Val, you…

Things to Do in Boston When it Rains

Day 184 It’s a light spattering, but it’s consistent. It has been raining off and on for three days. And it’s officially colder than Calgary. Well. We’ll have to cash it in, what with not being used the rain and…

The Countdown.

Day 183 I think this is the suggested official day that we’re supposed to be back across the border. But we don’t really know because the information posted on the interwebs is so contradicting, it’s like seeing someone else’s reflection…

Is This a Test?

Day 1—what the hell day is this? It’s been a bit of a rough week. After missing out on the glory of New York, we dodged our way across the Bronx, past Greenwich, and into Providence, RI. Quaint little town.…

Big Apple, No Time

(the view from Liberty Harbor RV & Marine Park, NJ) Day 178 Okay, I’m callin’ it. As much fun as a person could have sitting in a shitty RV park in Jersey City when they were supposed to be dizzying…

Heart to Heart in West Chester

(from the backyard) Day 175 This is to our soulful friends in West Chester. Drew, Danielle, & little cherub —baby Jette. We’re on the same page. We think the same way. Let’s meet up and do it again. Thanks for…

Philly. The Musical.

Day 172 Ever go to a city and just feel like it sings to you? Philadelphia was a musical. From the time we entered to our departure, the mirthful music of joyful encounters, random traffic tolls, and Apple Store lust…

Old Bay Day

Day 168 We got the tour upon arriving in Maryland. Popped into Baltimore to meet up with our friend, Brian. That’s ‘ian’ not ‘yan’. The ‘yan’ Bryan’s are often evil. Think about that one. There’s some truth in it. Anyway,…

The Sin of the Tripod

(photo shot sans tripod) Day 167 We’re like spies. A few days ago, we strolled into Washington, DC. That’s Washington in the District of Columbia. Weird, right? So we’re staying an hour away in the closest RV park possible. We…

Cavernous Secrets, VA

Day 164 Now you will learn about caves. Actually caverns. A cave is different than a cavern. I bet you didn’t know that. Humans have determined the distinction between caves and caverns based on human relativity. What I mean is,…

Nashville. The Equation.

Day 161 What makes a city worth settling in? We pondered that question in Nashville. We spent two days (in the rain no less) pondering that question and here’s what we came up with.1. A city worth settling in has…

Elvis Horses

Rachel with the horses at Graceland Mansion. Not much more to say here. Elvis Horses on Vimeo.

Hunka Hunka Burning Sludge

Day 156 Oh, did I mention that we also went to Memphis? We were there for a couple a days and we’re seeing some themes across the board. I think you should know: Graceland sucks. Graceland, or the land of…

Blazing Austin Saddles

Day 155 A little recap: I said I’d fill you in about Austin, so even though we’re in Nashville, I’m going to pretend we’re not. I’ve glossed over lots of little booger towns; little holes in the wall not worth…

Glory To The Unicat T Champions

Day 153 What would thou doest for a Unicat shirt? Our noble champions have stepped forward at SXSW to prove their love for the beast. They have done things that can only be shown via the secrecy of live video…

Scurvy’s Uglier Side

Day 150 Don’t tell, but we might have a new favourite city. I’ll fill you in as soon as I get over this pesky South by Scurvy that is doubling my vision and making my back slick with sweat (probably…

SXSW: A Woman’s Perspective

Day 147 It’s my first time. This has been a response men have become accustomed to hearing from me this week. I am a minority at a yearly festival that gets Twitter aflutter, Gowalla & Foursquare spitting mad points of…

Work For Your Shirt.

Day 143 If you haven’t heard, Rachel and I pooled some cash from our spamaroni fund and got some lovely purple and green Unicat t-shirts printed up for SXSW. Since we were only able to get 20 of these “limited…

SXSWalter

Today we arrive in Austin, TX for one of the single most anticipated events of this entire trip. South By Southwest (SXSW). SXSW is a music, film, and interactive festival held every March in Austin. Geeks, musicians, and film nerds…

Oh Hello Again, NOLA

Day 138 We did a full 360 around the middle finger of America (that’s Florida for you non-visual types). We wound up all the way back in New Orleans! This still might be our most favourite place of all. With…

Spamtastic!

Day 135 In this episode of cooking with Walter, Travis and Rachel rustle up some fantastic grub using the likes of canned ham, onions, and macaroni. It doesn’t have a name; it’s called Spamaroni. Next week, look forward to more…

The Stray Muse Store

Hey folks! Rachel and I just launched a nice little t-shirt store on The Stray Muse! We hope you like the merch and buy tons for you and your kids, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, grandparents, first second and third cousins,…

Trav the Champ!

Trav the Champ! on Vimeo Day 130 Travis braves the chilly waters of Fort Myers, Florida to crush it at a wakeboard cable park.

Debunked. Part Deux

Day 127 Of course we won’t leave you hanging. We know you came back to find out how many people get naked in Key West. Patience! We’ll get there. Onward, to the myth debunking department. Myth 5: Key West is…

Debunked

Day 124 We have seen and conch-ered Key West. We’re another year older, although sans cake, presents, or family & friends, it really doesn’t feel that way. In preparation of getting older, we let the malaise of Key West run…

Mythbusting in Key West

Day 119 We’ve only been here in darling Key West for just over a day. People say a lot of things about Key West. It’s our job to prove whether they’re true or not. Because we have a full week…

My Key Lime Poem

Day 116 It occurred to me that I have not yet written you a poem. Surely you would like the sweet incantation of the written word to play daintily in your ear holes. Ahem… Key Lime The key to a…

Miami Vices

Day 114 Granted we only spent two days in the heart of Miami, but it was enough to marinate us in its natural vices. “It’s hot,” the stylist who cut my hair responded when asked why settle in Miami, but…

Peas in a Pod

Day 111 We are sitting inside within a hostel environment in Hollywood, Florida. To prevent a boondocking overload, we booked three nights at the Hollywood Beach Hotel and Hostel thinking we would just waltz out onto the beach and take…

Road Rage in Fort Lauderdale

Day 108 Just so you don’t think it’s all wine and roses on the road, consider this: we manage to spend entire days driving from parking lot to parking lot all over metropolitan cities such as Fort Lauderdale, only to…

Those Cool Kids We Call Friends

Day 105 Photo By Kelly Sue, Flickr Met a girl today. She just might have a better story than we do! For serious. This girl goes by the name of Kelly. She’s a friend of the nGenWorks crew and we…

Taking a Turn?

Day 106 I’m not sure, but I’m hoping we’re taking a turn. A good one. Mostly weather related. But in general, more sun equals more happiness. After all, this is the sunshine state. Today you could run outside nude and…

The Peanut Gallery

Day 102 We have run into some pretty notable people while on our journey. The funny thing is, no matter where we set down our weather beaten RV, the people are exactly the same. Even funnier, as friendly as most…

Days of Thunder

Day 100 So you want to hear about Daytona? You don’t? Well, too bad. We lived through that nightmare, now so will you. The thing is, we (I) should have known better. I had this irrational belief that the entire…

Daytona. Seat Pissers.

Day 98 We have a strong suspicion that someone peed all over our scooter seat. It was wet, everything else was dry. This was our first night out in Daytona. Seat pissers.

Halfway There.

(that was for you, Karissa. Ah yeah.) Day 95 That’s right. This crazy, life splaying, intoxicating, perilous journey is more than halfway over. At least the south of the border portion. To put it in perspective, here are some numbers:…

The JAX Welcome

What a week. After nearly floating down the street in Tallahassee amidst a crazy set of rain storms that ran us ragged, we pulled into Jacksonville. The northeast coast of Florida. A hint of warmer temperatures and hopefully relaxation tempted…

Tallahassee Shower

Travis tries to wash the dirt of Tallahassee off his body by showering in the rain.

Seven Cool Things About Swamps

Day 90 1. Swamps do not smell like rotting bodies like Hollywood portrays. In fact, they do not have any smell at all.2. Mosquitoes do not like swamps. The water is constantly moving, and skeeters like standing water. Leave the…

The Pulse of Nawlins

Day 86 Let me tell you a story about the beating heart of the US. It’s right here in a little town called New Orleans, which isn’t a town, and isn’t so little after all. This story starts when two…

A Shameless Short Film Plug

Also, a shameless plug for my (non) acting career. As many of you know, Wil, Gord, Sarah and I made a short film in 24 hours for the 2009 Film Racing Tour and won the Calgary contest. Now we are…

Houston, We Have a Problem

Day 83  Okay, we did the NASA thing (actually, the Houston Space Center). On a scale of 1 to 10, we give it a hearty 6.5. Now here’s the thing: It’s about space. So that makes it cool. We ventured…

Sweet San Antonio

Day 80 What a blissful vacation! Two days in a warm bed with decent shower did a lot for our morale. And San Antonio is a beautiful colonial city. Trav and I had an ‘alone day’ on Saturday so we…

Really, Texas? Snow?

Day 78 Three things that we planned on doing didn’t happen: The Grande Canyon, Roswell, New Mexico, and the Carlsbad Caverns. Wanna know why? Snow. Yep. All the way down here in the heat of belle south. Instead of checking…

A Day in the Bio-Dome

Day 75 Bio-Dome was a terrible movie from 1996 starring Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin. As far as I can remember, these two dickweeds accidentally get locked in a bubble with a bunch of scientists, act like morons, and emerge…

A Vegas New Year

Day 72 If you like garbage and guns, and girls walking through glass on a winter’s eve, then you would love Vegas at New Years. We had a blast! And then we decided two days was enough. It all started…

Route 66

A dark, windy road known as Route 66. What a trip.

Havasu Orange Men AZ

Day 67 Thank everything good and holy for kind neighbours! A huge thanks be to Wendy and Vern for letting us break and enter into your house in Lake Havasu City, AZ last night. We rolled the Rhino out onto…

Phoenix is Calgary

Day 65 We’ve been here in Phoenix about a week. Hunkered ourselves down in a cozy little RV park for Christmas, where we met up with my Dad and his partner, Evelyn. It was a lovely Christmas, or Glorbis (see…

Merry Glorbis to All!

Day 63 We hope all of you and your families are having a safe and wonderful holiday season! Since we tend to have our own way of doing things these days, we’re celebrating the holidays a little differently than most.…

Happy Glorbis Rachel!

Glorbis: Golden Glory Orb-mas. It's a nice replacement for a religious holiday that has become commercialized beyond reason. Also: Travis jerks your heart strings.

What a Zoo

Overpriced food; caged animals. Travis and Rachel realize that zoos are just bad news.

Old Man Splinter

Travis tries to out skate 8-yr-olds (after spying on them from afar).

Speechless

Day 55 Today I was stopped in my tracks by a photography exhibit. Its name was, “Beloved Daughters: Photographs by Fazal Shiek.” We stumbled upon it while visiting Balboa Park during one of the warmest days of the week. I…

Rootin Tootin’ Sam Diego

Day 51 Who needs an alarm? It was 5:30am, and all of a sudden Walter lifted up and plunked down. And then again. It felt like an elephant sitting on the bumper. We shot out of bed in a hazy…

LA Times

Day 49 Our time in LA is spent. We barely skimmed the surface of this great and mysterious land. I suppose we could have stayed longer, but without an agenda and the fact that even a convenience store is a…

Universal Studios, Bitches

Aside from real dinosaurs, these latex man-eating fakes at Jurassic Park are fairly convincing. Dino DNA!

Striking a Balance

Day 46 Guess what? It rained today. Sounds like something you’ve heard before, right? I think the entire west coast is getting it, so it’s not like we’ve been targeted. Besides, we had a great day with Luke, eatin’ some…

Hi Ho Hollywood.

Day 45 We’ve been a little quiet for the last couple of days. Trying to get our bearings in this hulking city/county known as Los Angeles. It is a city so enormous that it sprawls halfway down the California coast…

Pismo Beach, CA

Day 42 I’m gonna make this short. I’ve had a long day of writing other stuff, and my brain is full to capacity. Or empty, depending on how you feel about me. I don’t care much. We made it to…

Travis Shaves His Face

Trav takes a swipe at his own face with blades of steel. Oh, and he takes you through the process, step-by-step.

Monterey Bay Day

Day 39 It was a day of slurpy, salty, wet fun. You got it: we went to the aquarium at Monterey Bay. Just south of Santa Cruz, this little gem’s admission cost us a pretty penny ($30 USD each). But…

Turkey’s For Suckers. Moustaches Are For Real.

Day 35 Alright, it’s American Thanksgiving and not to sound all disinterested or nothin’ but we already had one. My mom and Roger cooked dinner and we ate like kings. Nothing compares to that kind of shin dig. So today…

Letting in Strays

Hey, we just uploaded The Stray Muse!! So proud of this release. This is our first baby together. Luckily it missed those awkward teenage years. Teenagers, ack.

Jail House, Rock

Day 29Almost a full month in travel paradise! First, a huge thank you to the noble and gracious Ed Shahinian from the Ace Hotel, Seattle. He took the time to ship us a package that had been chasing us down…

Humbled in San Francisco

Fewer things are more humbling than being surrounded by awesome people, and a city made of hills.

The Rock

Day 26 We pulled into sunny San Francisco. I repeat: sunny. It is fandamntastic here. The fresh wafting odour of salt and fish and just a hint of sewage is a sure sign that this city is alive and breathing.…

Assume the Position

We awoke to the fiery sun smashing through our bedroom windows like John McLean swinging from the fire hose. The warmth dried our spirits and recharged our optimism. To take advantage of this glorious day we attempted to get out…

Artsy Fartsy in Crescent City CA

Day 564 (Just seein’ if you’re paying attention) I think it’s actually Day 23 —and I think that makes it 20 days of rain. Seriously???? What’s with this unnatural watershed? Only the Redwoods need it. But I never opened my…

Oregon Cliffs

We took a little break from driving today to take in the view of the Oregon coast. (via Vimeo)

The Rocky Coast

Day 20 The rocky coast. No words can describe this stunning view.

Soaked in Portland

Day 19 So much rain!! Thought we might consider pitching a condo up here one day, but since we feel like a pair of wet carpets, we may have changed our minds. At any rate, we are headed for sunnier…

RV 101

Day 17 (gonna start addressing this as I am developing date amnesia) So we made it to Vancouver. Vancouver Washington. About 7 miles from Portland. It seemed like a great place to refuel. Walter doesn’t need it, but we sure…

Paranoid in Seattle

Me being a little overly paranoid in Seattle just before we moved a block down the street for some urban camping. (via Vimeo)

Leavin’ Leavenworth

So we are sick. Again. This time we both have head colds which we never have at the same time. Try navigating Walter down narrow slits of highway when you don’t even have your head attached to your shoulders. That’s…

Seattle’s Best

October 29, 2009 It’s getting hard to distinguish between the days of the week. Right now: doodling in pink pen on a grocery list and taking in the sites and sounds around Seattle with no wireless signal. The melodic notes…

Testing the Borders

The story of our ridiculous entry into the beautiful US of A. Please excuse the Canadian accents (…and the annoying furnace. It sounds like a jet engine).

Biding Some Time

Brrr. It’s chilly here. Not ‘four centimetres of snow, like in Calgary’ chilly, but the wind is biting cold and it gnaws at your bones for hours after you’ve come inside. So we crank the heat and sit in the…

Westward Ho!

October 21, 2009We left at the blink of dawn. Okay it was eleven am in Calgary. A full ten hours later we parked our rears in Kamloops, after hours of misty highways, treacherous mountain roads, and bad A&W. I sat…

THANK YOU ALL!

Well it’s been a mad few weeks trying to wrap things up in ‘ol Cowtown, but somehow everything has fallen into place. We’ve successfully moved out of our condo, sold or packed most of our possessions into storage, and geared…

Teaser Trip

We trekked into the woods this week with the desire to restore our sanity. It was a teaser trip with Walter to Kananaskis to see just how well he would respond to our love. We even decided to bring our…

The Deets

Quick post because I’m on my way to see These Arms Are Snakes, and I will NOT miss it. This band will melt your face. You should see them. I implore you. Anyway, back to the task at hand… After…

The Gas Huffer.

Call us crazy (we might be), but we just added a new member to our family. He’s a road junkie with an appetite for snorting gasoline and has no other desire than to wake up on a new street every…

Winnebago Man

I know this is old and most of you have probably seen it already, but it’s one my all time favourites and somewhat related. I guess. Enjoy once again! The Definitive Winnebago Man (via krautnuck)

America. Fuck Yeah.

My good friend Chris sent this to me as inspiration for our trip. Was it inspiring? HELL YES. Thank you Chris! (via Obscure437)