Old Bay Day

by Rachel Gertz

Day 168

We got the tour upon arriving in Maryland. Popped into Baltimore to meet up with our friend, Brian. That’s ‘ian’ not ‘yan’. The ‘yan’ Bryan’s are often evil. Think about that one. There’s some truth in it.

Anyway, nice Brian showed us the dirty canal, the broken bottle in the parking lot, the LensCrafters. We nearly fired him as our tour guide, but then we realized the immense amount of pressure he was under. Have you ever been a tour guide? Didn’t think so. Besides, he’s nice Brian!

We really put him on the spot, so we let up as we wandered the beautiful downtown core of Baltimore (that he, a local, hadn’t yet visited). Brian sat us down at for some local flavour (tater tots and crab dip) and he shaped our evening for us.

We had a fabulous dinner with him and his cute and charming fiancé, Tasha, at Fuji Sushi. I had the pleasure of being the next girl to enter the bathroom after a rather boisterous and somewhat embarrassed woman plugged the toilet. She was drunk and sitting at the next table. I couldn’t look in her direction without thinking about the wad of, um, toilet paper she was responsible for.

At any rate, I didn’t let this ruin our evening.

We had a blast, and finished the night up with bountiful conversation & delicious wine back at our lovely hosts’ domicile. Bottled wine is so much better than boxed, isn’t it. We also learned a valuable insider tip. Apparently the secret to the luscious dishes of Maryland is Old Bay spice. Brian and Tasha kindly gave us a pound of it to sprinkle on everything we see in sight. I will be trying it as an air freshener, as Walter is starting to smell ripe.

Thank you, Brian. Thank you, Tasha. We had the most fun with real human beings that we have had since Austin, TX. And that’s saying something important. Because we loved Austin.

PS: Brian, you’re most welcome for our visit and its ensuing opportunity to experience Baltimore’s chic underbelly.

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